Genny B. is a disgusting mess. She fills my merchandise carts at work every morning. She's in her late 40s and still hasn't learned how to function as a normal adult; she doesn't wash her hands after using the toilet (noisily). When she talks she gets a build-up of spit in the corners of her mouth. It gets so shiny and smooth there that I find myself entranced more by that then whatever she is saying.
I don't know how to interact with her, she confuses me. Mostly I just feel annoyed by her. But yesterday something strange (and guilt-inducing) happened. She came up to me while I was fixing the bedding department, and she offered me her closed hand. I hesitated because all I could think of was the pee and poo germs that would be emanating from girl's dirty claw. When I finally got over myself, I was sadly surprised that what she was offering me was a really sweet gesture. It was a pair of coral earrings--adorable; dangly and gaudy just like I like them.
She said she thought they would look nice with the clothes I wear. I felt like such an asshole. Here was this perfectly nice person giving me a present just because and all I could focus on was how I have to scrub the earrings down before I wear them.
Now I'm riddled with guilt. I'm grateful and trying to have a better person's outlook. Who am I to judge her? I'm not perfect and I wouldn't be surprised if someone out there finds me repulsive. I'm not outwardly an asshole, but I shouldn't even be an inward asshole to her or anybody.
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