Science vs. Romance

Genny B. is a disgusting mess. She fills my merchandise carts at work every morning. She's in her late 40s and still hasn't learned how to function as a normal adult; she doesn't wash her hands after using the toilet (noisily). When she talks she gets a build-up of spit in the corners of her mouth. It gets so shiny and smooth there that I find myself entranced more by that then whatever she is saying.
I don't know how to interact with her, she confuses me. Mostly I just feel annoyed by her. But yesterday something strange (and guilt-inducing) happened. She came up to me while I was fixing the bedding department, and she offered me her closed hand. I hesitated because all I could think of was the pee and poo germs that would be emanating from girl's dirty claw. When I finally got over myself, I was sadly surprised that what she was offering me was a really sweet gesture. It was a pair of coral earrings--adorable; dangly and gaudy just like I like them.
She said she thought they would look nice with the clothes I wear. I felt like such an asshole. Here was this perfectly nice person giving me a present just because and all I could focus on was how I have to scrub the earrings down before I wear them.
Now I'm riddled with guilt. I'm grateful and trying to have a better person's outlook. Who am I to judge her? I'm not perfect and I wouldn't be surprised if someone out there finds me repulsive. I'm not outwardly an asshole, but I shouldn't even be an inward asshole to her or anybody.

there once was a woman who put her head into an oven

"terror finally becomes almost
bearable
but never quite

terror creeps like a cat
crawls like a cat
across my mind

I can hear the laughter of the masses

they are strong
they will survive

like the roach

never take your eyes off the roach

you'll never see it again.



the masses are everywhere
they know how to do things:
they have sane and deadly angers
for sane and deadly
things.

I wish I were driving a blue 1952 Buick
or a dark blue 1942 Buick
or a blue 1932 Buick
over a cliff of hell and into the
sea."

--C. Bukowski, Love is a Dog from Hell

Hips, Tits, Lips, Power: Suck it!

A new mix prompted by my fellow Vipers. Objective was to compile all of my favorite female vocals/artistry/musicianship. None of that Lilith Fair bullshit here!






















1. "Gigantic" - Pixies
2. "Paint's Peeling" - Rilo Kiley
3. "Dizzy" - Siouxsie and the Banshees
4. "One Beat" - Sleater-Kinney
5. "No Aloha" - The Breeders
6. "Violet" - Hole
7. "Ridiculous Thoughts" - The Cranberries
8. "Vivica" - Jack Off Jill
9. "Sweet Shine" - Sonic Youth
10. "That's Where I Went Wrong" - The Poppy Family
11. "Costumbres" - Rocio Durcal
12. "Operate" - Peaches
13. "Drool" - Switchblade Symphony
14. "Love is a Place" - Metric
15. "Balderrama" - Mercedes Sosa
16. "Jane, Jane" - & Mary, Peter, Paul
17. "Someday We'll Be Together" - Diana Ross & the Supremes
18. "Hips, Tits, Lips, Power" - Pigface

Wonderful.

The "Gamer" Bracelet

Lady Luck won't be able to resist this beauty!

The focal points of this charm bracelet are the dice and clover, which I was lucky to find as part of a handmade key chain at a garage sale. I took it apart, and strung them onto my own headpins. After cutting off the excess, I made those metal pieces into loop-eye pins for the bulk of the bracelet. I attached my loop-eye beads with jump rings and added the themed charms on those same jump rings. Easypeasy!

I feel strange in here.
Sitting in the dark, staring at this great white box.


It just started raining, and it sounds wonderful, banging my door down.

Le Sigh

I always talk about how my ideal life would be to win the lottery and quit my job; not have to work, not have to do anything I don't want to.

Then I get short breaks from work like these last two days and I can't figure out what the hell to do with myself. I sit around for hours asking myself, "what do you want to do today?" And by the end of the day I just end up falling asleep in front of the TV, mentally kicking myself for wasting an entire day.

This is the brilliance of white light
White light
It shines on roses and gardenias
White light
It shines on stars and houses
White light
The brilliance of white
White light